


The Misunderstood Rocketman

by Therottenboy



Category: Elton John (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friendship, M/M, Magic, Multi, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22356088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Therottenboy/pseuds/Therottenboy
Summary: in an alternate universe Elton is a wonted criminal and Bernie is a police officer. their worlds collide for a wild ride.
Relationships: David Furnish/Elton John, Elton John & Bernie Taupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. The brass rabbit

On a pink and purple planet there was this rather advanced city. The buildings were made of coral in an array of vibrant colors. Some parts of the city are really rough and full of crime so the government has made a rather large army of soldiers to protect the people and transfer criminals. But things were going to change for one particular soldier named Bernie Taupin, his world was going to change forever. It all starts on a rather warm day of June 23rd, officer Taupin reports for duty and stands outside of the president’s office when he gets called in.  
"Officer Taupin, you have a new assignment, we found him and need you to transfer him to the jail."  
"Yes sir" Bernie leaves to go get him. Who is Him you ask? He is a masked man who has powers that are unknown. All they know is that it has to do with music and the piano, which is against the law and is unwanted on this planet. Bernie makes it to the underground music hall. There’s a large neon sign that says “the brass rabbit" and has a picture of a rabbit playing the sax. Bernie walks in and there He was standing at the bar drinking a martini and flirting with another man.  
“Excuse me sir I’m ordered to take you in”  
“Well well, the police finally found me. Took them long enough” he laughs as Bernie cuffs him and puts him in his car “I suppose you know about me?”  
“Well somewhat yes. I know you have been hurting people with some kind of powers and breaking the law by playing the piano”  
“Me? Hurting people? Please! I open people’s eyes to the wonderful world of music. I don’t like violence. And these powers you talk of are just my special ability when I sing or play the piano”  
“So you don’t actually hurt people? I don’t believe you”  
“I can prove it to you.” He starts to sing a little song as Bernie is driving. Then the car fills with purple and gold smoke and they almost crash. Bernie feels something he hasn’t felt before and in shock, pulls the car over.  
“What the hell was that?!”  
“That was my power. You felt the joy and inspiration of music.”  
Bernie had to think about what just happened. He made up his mind and brought Him to the jail.


	2. captain fantastic?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elton is in jail but not for long

Bernie takes Him inside and another officer books him.  
“Full name?”  
“Elton H. John”  
The officer types it in the computer. “Age?”  
“I’m 27”  
“What is your alter ego name?”  
“I never really thought of it but someone did once call me captain fantastic”  
The officer writes down something then takes Elton to get a mug shot  
Of course Elton has platforms on so he is like 6ft 3in. after the picture he is taken to a cell, Bernie is still not feeling like himself and goes to his boss  
“Sir, he... umm demonstrated his powers on the way here and...”  
“Oh dear lord!” he calls a medical officer over and they take poor Bernie to the infirmary and test him. Later on Elton was taken in to see Bernie in hopes that he can fix him  
“I was told to reverse what I did and to be honest I can’t “  
“What do you mean?”  
“There is no way for me to stop it. “  
“Oh great I’m going to die”  
“Excuse me, you will not die. Man I thought I was dramatic” Elton smirks at Bernie   
“Hey I’m not dramatic! No one ever come back after you attack them”  
“Who in the great hell told you that?”  
“My boss. He said you are very dangerous. That’s why you got arrested”  
“I’ve never killed anyone, they left because they saw the truth and went to another planet” Bernie looks at him with a hint of disbelief. Elton is brought back to his cell and after a while Bernie is released and stands in front of Elton’s cell.   
“So Bernie, how are you feeling? “  
“I’m fine, now be quiet” Bernie felt bad for saying that but he is on duty. A few hours go by and Bernie falls asleep, just then Elton uses his powers to escape. Bernie wakes up in Elton’s arms as he runs outside.   
“What the fuck are you doing?!”


	3. welcome the rocketman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elton escapes to the one safe place he knows only to be preforming

“I’m getting us out of here”  
“That’s not ok. You need to go back”  
“I can’t go back” Elton runs into a small underground club and there’s a security guard there  
“Password?”  
“The Rocketman”  
“Welcome sir, and who is this?”  
“That’s umm, my friend Taupin”  
“He looks like a cop. You know what Doug does to cops”  
“Doug can shove it” the security guard and Bernie both look at Elton with a look of shock. The security guard lets them in and they go into Elton’s dressing room  
“OK Taupin, you need to change before Doug sees you and hurts you and kicks us out”  
“I’m sorry, but if Doug does that to a cop, he is a dick”  
“Nah, he is just protective of his secret music club. He is very against the government, well at least the part against music”  
“Yeah I get that” Bernie changes into jeans and a plaid T-shirt  
“That’s better.” Elton hides the officer uniform, Doug finally welcomes them  
“So darling, I heard from Daniel you said I can shove it because your friend is a cop and you bravely brought him here?”  
“Well, yes. I’m kind of in a little bit of a pickle and kind of escaped jail and kind of brought my new cop friend here”  
“You escaped from jail and your first thought was to come here?”  
“Umm yes”  
“You are lucky I like you and trust you. Otherwise, I’d throw you out and call the cops on both of you. Now, because you are here, you have to play something tonight”  
“Uggg fine Doug, just let me get ready and stuff.”  
“Yes sir. Be ready in an hour” Doug leaves and Elton changes into a red sparkly jumpsuit  
“Bernie I need your help. Can you please write something for me to play tonight?”  
“I can try, also please don’t call me Bernie, I like Taupin better”  
“Sure thing buddy”


	4. rough night at the troubadour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little flashback and a concert

*flashback to 25 years ago*  
“Leaders of the world, I’m sad to say that the earth is dying and can’t be saved at this point. Our only hope is to pick a planet to move to, there’s 2 just like earth. One is pink and purple and the other one is orange and red. They both have air like earth and can support life.”   
The leaders disagreed on which planet to inhabit so half of the earth went to the orange one and the others went to the pink one. They both made it and started to build. Afraid that the orange planet inhabitants will find them and destroy them they banned music. Also they learned music can divide people and cause a war, they want a peaceful planet.  
*back to today*  
“Ok Elton, I have a couple of songs for you to play, I’m not sure if they are that good but you can try it”  
“Thank you ber... Taupin.” Elton takes the lyrics “border song? Your song? Ok I can work with this.” Elton sings the lyrics and Bernie finds a book of old lyrics Elton wrote   
“Oh my god, these suck”  
“Hey that’s my private collection. Also yes I know they suck. That’s why I need someone to help me with lyrics” it’s ShowTime and Bernie sits in the audience as his new buddy (whether he likes to admit it or not) plays his songs on stage   
“Welcome ladies and gentleman to the troubadour, tonight we have a special guest, Elton john!” Elton walks out and sits at the piano  
“Holy Moses I have been removed I have seen the specter he has been here too Distant cousin from down the line Brand of people who ain't my kind Holy Moses I have been removed” The audience pays attention and loves the song. As Elton plays the whole place fills with purple and gold mist and everyone is happy and enjoying themselves. Bernie feels a strange connection to Elton and wants to protect him at all costs. Which may be needed really soon. Suddenly a bunch of cops bust in and raid the place. Bernie runs up to Elton and grabs him.   
“Elton we have to go” they find a way out with Doug and some other singers  
“What the fuck Elton! I knew we couldn’t trust this fucking cop!”  
“Excuse me, if I did this I would have left you all in the building to rot in prison. Now let’s get out of here” they make their way through all these underground tunnels into this lavish open cave that someone made into a house it was kind of obvious on who’s place this was.


	5. escaping to the cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elton,bernie and others escape to eltons large underground cave with an odd stone piano

It was a nice open cave with a table, couch, a small kitchen, some fancy art and the weirdest thing of all… a carved stone piano. On the table there is piano sheet music, cups of some clear liquid, an ashtray, a dirty plate and some magazines.   
“Elton this place is huge”  
“It is taupy”  
“It’s really nice, but what’s with the piano?”  
“You mean that beautiful polished pink rose quarts piano?”  
“Yes. That, how can you play that? It looks impossible to play”  
“You would think so but it’s actually amazing sounding”  
“Would you two stop talking and think of a way to escape the police!”  
“Well Doug, why would I help you? You think I caused this in the first place.”  
“I umm didn’t mean to blame you”  
“Well I have a plan, but it will only work if we leave in groups. Doug and the others leave first and hide in town and then me and Elton will leave later”  
“How is that fair? “  
“Well it’s not. But I don’t care what you think Doug, you are a big dick” everyone tries not to laugh at what Bernie said. Doug and the others decided to leave.  
“Well that was funny, taupy.” Bernie and Elton cleaned up the table a bit and then Elton played a song on the stone piano, it sounded very beautiful and quite loud.   
“Umm Elton maybe you should stop, we are supposed to be hiding”  
“Oh right” Elton stops and there was a knock at the door. Elton and Bernie looks at each other scared.  
“Who could that be?”  
“I don’t know… the cops?”  
“God I hope not, we’re not ready” Bernie goes to look out the peephole and he sees three men. “Ummm Elton, its three random men…”  
“Oh shit… don’t let them in”  
“What the hell did you do?”  
“I kind of… well… did something bad to them”  
“What the fuck?!”


	6. unexpected situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bernie and elton get into some trouble

The three men break down the door and one of the men hit Bernie over the head with a rock  
“Oh Elton darling, you prick” Elton is hiding from them in the kitchen that is behind a stone wall. “Fan out and find him you goons”  
“Yes sir!” they find him and drag him back into the large room  
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”  
“Umm just me in my place with my friend Bernie”  
“You are a major prick. How dare you leave without preforming?”  
“Well dick, your goons didn’t fill all my needs so I got mad and left” dick looks at his goons ray and Louis   
“Well I’m sorry that ray and Louis were incompetent. But then there’s what else you did”  
“What do you mean?” ray and Louis ties Elton and Bernie to some chairs  
“What I mean is that you took my drugs and alcohol when you left and destroyed my living room”  
“I did no such…” ray punches Elton in the face  
“Shut up you prick. Now where are the drugs?”  
“I didn’t…” ray pinches him again  
“Fine we will just look for them then” Louis knocks Elton out and then they all trash the place looking for the drugs and alcohol. They find the alcohol but not the drugs. After a while Bernie wakes up.  
“What the fuck are you doing?!”  
“Well sir your friend here took my drugs and alcohol before running out of a private concert”  
“Well I don’t know anything about that”  
“Oh I’m sure he didn’t tell you anything. By the way I’m dick, these are my goons, Louis and ray”  
“I’m officer taupin” Elton wakes up “Elton what the fuck!”  
“Ok dick, the alcohol is in the kitchen under the sink but the drugs are gone”  
“Louis go get it “ he gets the alcohol. “Ahh yes my sweet golden whisky”  
“Ok you have it now let us go” Louis punches Elton in the face   
“No can do, now you either give us the drugs or preform for us”


	7. the great escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elton and bernie escape dicks mansion

“I mean I could perform but it’s not safe because of the cops.”  
“We will bring you to my house far out of town”  
“My friend has to come with us.”  
“Uggg fine.” Dick and his goons pack up Elton and Bernie plus the alcohol and papers into the car and drive them to a large mansion outside of town.   
It was a rather large yellow house with a small orchard. Growing on the trees are golf ball sized purple fruit. The smell outside was like sweet honey and fragrant flowers.  
“Oh wow this place is really nice”  
Elton whispers to Bernie “don’t be fooled by the outside, it’s really ugly inside”  
Dick drives them inside the garage. “This way prick and cop”  
The goons bring them to a rather small room with a bed in it  
“I really don’t want to preform here. I just know they will kill us after”  
“Don’t worry I have a plan.” Bernie whispers the plan into Elton’s ear   
“What?! You want me to...”  
“Shh yes I’ll be there with you.” Bernie pulls out a piece of paper with the saddest song he has ever written. Elton takes it and they are taken to the dining room with a piano in it. Elton plays some songs. As the night goes on its time to play the song. Elton plays it as purple and gold smoke fills the room, everyone starts to cry. Just then Elton and Bernie escape, they take the car and drive into town. They try to go to Elton’s place but the cops are there.   
“Ummm I know another place but this guy is… basically a rat”  
“Rat?” Bernie drives to the new place and the guy comes out. He is rather short and rat like.   
“Hello there john. We need to hide out for a little bit.”  
“Well well well, look who returned, with a little pet no less. Come in”  
“A pet?! I’m not his pet! I’m his friend who is trying to keep him safe and protected”  
“Like a pet would.” He smirks. Bernie, Elton and john go inside the cave and sit on the couch.  
“So john, how do you know Elton?”  
“We dated a little while back and he accused me of taking his money which yeah I did but I needed it more than him at the time” Elton looked at Bernie. They eat something and rest. Late in the night Elton gets up and talks to john  
“I see you still don’t sleep at night”  
“Yeah it’s a bad habit to break. How have you been?”


	8. becoming a true rocketman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elton and bernie escape the rat and go to space

“Why do you care?”   
“Well I care about you”  
“I’ve been ok I guess. Lonely and sad”  
“I’ve been getting into trouble and escaped jail. My friend over there is actually a cop”  
“What the fuck! You brought a cop here?!”   
“Well he is different”  
“all cops are the same” john walks away and then goes to sleep.in the morning they all wake up and john gives Bernie a coffee and looks at him suspiciously. Bernie takes a small sip and john walks away and Elton knocks the coffee out of Bernie’s hands. He spits it out   
“What the fuck Elton”  
“He wants to poison you.”  
“Why?”  
“I kind of told him you’re a cop”  
“What in the living hell! Why”  
“We were talking”  
“So” they find a way to leave and now they have nowhere to go. They drive until they find a broken rocket.   
“Look Elton a rocket. Want to be a real rocket man?”  
“You mean fix the rocket and leave this planet?”  
“Yeah”  
“Where would we go?”  
“The other planet?” they get busy and fix the rocket, It takes a couple of days. When its done they go inside and take off. As they go they see how beautiful the planet is. They make it out into space and see a space station.   
“Bernie let’s check it out” they land in the station and go inside where they are met with a gun in their face  
“Who are you?”  
“Sir Im Bernie and this is Elton. Im a cop from the purple planet” the man puts the gun down   
“Im David, im from the yellow planet. They have a stupid law that music is illegal”  
Elton slides over to David and smiles “our planet too. I'm the bad boy of my planet”


	9. the grand finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end

“The bad boy?”  
Bernie face palms. “Yeah I play the piano and sing”  
David giggles and smiles “well bad boy, want to end this stupid feud and spread joy and music?”  
“Hell yeah” David giggles and turns on the transmitter. It connects to both of the planets  
“Dear citizens, of the twin planets, it is time to end this silly feud. It’s been 25 years. I have someone who agrees with me.”  
“Hello there babies this feud has stopped me from becoming famous and loved so listen up. This feud started because you couldn’t decide on where to live. This should help. See the changes here on every street As time goes marching to a different beat Moving on into the restless age As the kids today find their feet Young enough to chase our dreams We were captured by romantic things Touched by love until it made us cry How our hearts could fly without wings Oh won't somebody tell me Tell me where have all the good times gone” David and Bernie are smiling.  
*meanwhile on the planets*  
Purple and gold smoke start to rain down on the people and they feel happy. The leaders of the planets contact each other and sit down on the space station and call a truce and end the feud. A few months later it’s now legal to play music and travel between worlds. Elton and David are living in Elton’s lavish cave and travel between worlds to spread his music and joy to everyone. Bernie retires as a cop and becomes a songwriter for Elton. John is out there still acting like a rat. As for dick he gets into the wine game with his big blue fruit. Doug becomes rich with all of the music and people, his best friend is a cop (believe it or not). Word on the radio is that Elton and David plan on getting married but you didn’t hear it from me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END :)


End file.
